In Memoriam

A final salute for Maj. Michael D. Stover
By Mark Caudill
News Journal

Edward "Al" Stover wondered aloud how to say goodbye to his little brother.

By the end of his eulogy, he realized there was no need.

"With a very heavy heart, I say, 'Sleep peacefully, little brother. I will see you in a little while,' " Stover said.

Stover was among the mourners at Monday's funeral for Maj. Michael D. Stover, 43, who took his own life June 3, midway through his second deployment in Iraq. The major was a 1980 graduate of Malabar High School.

Edward Stover, a retired major from the 179th Airlift Wing of the Ohio Air National Guard, brought a number of those in attendance to tears with his words. He kissed his brother's casket and gave a final salute.

Mourners gathered at Berean Baptist Church on a crisp, unseasonably cool morning. They visited while looking over Stover's photos, some from childhood, some from the military and two with his beloved dog.

Stover's flag-draped casket was on display in the lobby as a woman softly played piano in the sanctuary.

The church's high ceiling gave it a cavernous feel, the sun shining through a lone stained glass window. Most of the military officials sat in one row as six Marines acted as pallbearers.

Officiating the ceremony, the Rev. David Pound frequently read from Scripture before playing the inspirational song "I Can Only Imagine," by MercyMe.

Pound said Stover exemplified the core Marine values of honor, courage and commitment.

"This is a man that has a servant's heart," Pound said. "There was a humble spirit. He took great delight in the young Marines that he could teach and develop."

The teaching theme came up again with Stover's commanding officer in Yuma, Ariz., Lt. Col. Phillip Woody.

"The only way for a mortal man to be immortal is to teach," Woody said. "Those you teach will remember you forever. Mike will be remembered forever."

Woody privately addressed Edward Stover and Cheryl Meister, Mike's sister, before taking the podium.

"I only packed nine handkerchiefs," Woody joked of the solemn occasion. "I'm down to toilet paper."

Woody said he appreciated the time he spent with Stover's family.

"I have learned a great deal about Mike this week," he said. "It will not be forgotten."

News of Stover's death hit fellow Marines hard. Woody said he received 168 e-mails about it.

Stover enlisted in the Marines immediately after high school. The career officer was having doubts about his military future in the days before his death. In early May, he told Woody he would decline a promotion to lieutenant colonel.

Through e-mails, Stover said he hoped the promotion selection board "would make my decision for me" by not choosing him, a move that would have forced his retirement.

Edward Stover knew his brother deserved the promotion, noting it would have been the first time Mike outranked him.

"You'll never know how proudly I looked forward to that time," Edward said.

The elder Stover said he was 18 months older than Mike. It wasn't always convenient to have a baby brother.

"I was the one that dragged him around by the hand," Edward said. "Somewhere along the line, the relationship was transformed."

Edward said he would always honor his brother by keeping his combat boots in his home and putting "My brother is a Marine" bumper stickers on every car he drives.

Dan Wilson, Mike's best friend in high school, also joined the Marines after high school. While their careers took different paths, Wilson said there were certain "rally points" when they reconnected.

"Man, did he inspire me," Wilson said.

Wilson closed by reading a poem written by Stover, who earned a journalism degree from The Ohio State University and had a passion for writing and photography.

Wilson paused to compose himself before saluting his friend's casket.

Sandy Prosser, a family friend, lamented not staying in closer touch with Stover.

"We lose contact with the people that have had an impact on our lives," she said. "I didn't see Mike until his father died (in 2003). He had turned into a man ... what a man he turned out to be."

Prosser wondered aloud if she could have helped her friend during his time of need.

"I didn't take the time to make a phone call and say something to Mike that may have changed something in his life," she said.

Prosser said she wouldn't make that mistake again.

"I have learned such a valuable lesson from Mike's death," she said. "When the Lord puts somebody on your heart, take the time to say something to them, whether it's an e-mail or a short letter."

Prosser said Stover would "always be my hero."

Retired Col. Paul Adams was Stover's commanding officer in Hawaii from 2000 to 2002. He offered a light moment, recalling a sparring match with Stover after they had gone through combat training.

"He was a good hitter," Adams said. "He got a good shot on my sternum that lasted about eight months."

From the church, mourners drove about 50 miles up Interstate 71 to the Ohio Western Reserve National Cemetery in Rittman. The road to the sacred ground was lined with flags.

The wind rustling through the trees was the only sound at times. Puffy gray and white clouds hid the sun.

The pallbearers held the flag just above Stover's casket during the playing of "Taps." Afterward, they folded it carefully.

Marines presented flags to Stover's siblings, the sorrowful sound of bagpipes signifying the end of the brief ceremony.

Woody may have summed up Stover's influence toward the end of his eulogy.

"It was an honor to call him a friend," he said. "It was an honor to call him a comrade."