LCpl. Jason Smith

LAST LETTERS TO HOME REVEALING
YOUNG MARINE FOUND HIMSELF BEFORE DYING ON AN IRAQ BATTLEFIELD
Joseph A. Reaves, The Arizona Republic

The fear never left, but most of the doubts were gone by the time Lance Cpl. Jason E. Smith's life was cut short in a killing field in Iraq.

He was half a world away from the two brothers he always loved and a step closer to the parents he finally was beginning to appreciate.

He was 19 months shy of rekindling his baseball career, two months into a newfound love of God and just days beyond comprehending why he was fighting in a foreign land.

"It was like he grew up to another level at the end," said Jason's father, Glenn Smith, a computer software specialist. "His last letters answered a lot of questions that were very interesting."

Those last letters, two of them and a Christmas card, arrived the day Jason died. But they sat unnoticed in a mailbox until the next day, until a military grief team had come and gone with the nightmare news.

"I believe God intended for us not to read the letters until we heard about Jason's death," Smith said. "Reading them after set us at ease. It provided a final chapter to his worldly life."

The letters, written Dec. 6 and 13, talked about wanting to tell the people of Arizona about the "scary" times of war.

They talked about the horrors of seeing "dead bodies" and "dead Marines."

And they talked about finally putting to rest the doubts he shared secretly with his parents for months about why he was in Iraq.

"In some ways I don't think we should be here, but someone needs to do it," Jason wrote in his last letter.

"I'm glad to help these innocent Iraqis out. They need a lot of help and then to see the look on the little kids' faces when they look at you. They are so happy that we are here to fix their country."

Those lines struck the Smith family so deeply that they've chosen to highlight them at Jason's memorial service this week. They are having a poster-size photograph of Jason in his Marine dress blues printed with a quote across the bottom:

"This war is not just about terrorism. It's about helping the innocent people of Iraq."

In his second-to-last letter, Jason wrote about wanting to spread that message to the people of Arizona "to get a point across to people who don't think this war is on terrorism," he wrote. "In some ways I don't believe in it, either.

"(But) I also want to prove a point on when American people hear a story about a Marine or soldier accidentally killing an innocent Iraqi civilian on why that may happen."

Accepting the importance and realities of the war weren't the only revelations Jason had in his final days. Two months ago, on the eve of the Marine assault on Fallujah, he rediscovered the God he had abandoned.

"He was very rebellious his last two years of high school," Smith said of his son. "He rebelled against God and his parents.

"But when they were waiting for the Fallujah offensive, he took a Bible and tossed it in the middle of his buddies. He told his buddies that it was time to open and read the Bible."

Smith said Jason was one of a few dozen Marines who asked to be baptized on the eve of the offensive. Chaplains filled rubber dinghies with water for the sacramental baths and pictures of the baptisms made national news.

But long after the cameras were gone, Jason kept his newfound faith. In his last letter, he wrote of the comfort and perspective he found in the Good Book.

"Been reading the Bible, and we are in areas of the holy lands," he wrote. "Lots of things happened in this area. Abraham's missionaries and many other things.

"The end times are on its way, I believe. Who knows? I know that we are going to be in heaven either way."

Jason finished that last letter, uncharacteristically, with individual notes to his two brothers and his parents.

To his brother Kyle, 18, Jason passed on the wisdom he gained in on the battlefields of Iraq: "If you want to do something, don't be scared," he wrote. "Do it anyways. For what feels good for you, not for someone else. ..."

To 10-year-old Josh, who shared a passion for baseball, Jason closed with encouragement.

"I know it's frustrating at times, but it is a very hard sport," Jason wrote. "Practice isn't fun. I know, because I've done plenty of it.

"But now, I don't want to do anything else but play baseball."

He lettered two seasons as a right-handed pitcher for North Canyon High School and was good enough to earn a baseball scholarship to Glendale Community College. But he passed up the opportunity in order to enlist in the Marines.

"We talked about it, and he just thought if he didn't grow up he wouldn't be successful in college or his professional career," Smith said. "But for the past year, he kept saying he wanted to go for baseball again.

"He even contacted the coach at Glendale from Camp Pendleton and was planning to go back as soon as he was out. That was supposed to be September '06. He was trying to put together some leave time so he could get out in August in time to start the fall semester."

That won't happen now. But the Smith family is hoping to prolong Jason's baseball legacy by setting up a fund to buy lights and provide other improvements at the North Canyon diamond.

"Jason was a great kid," said Jeff Wooten, head baseball coach at North Canyon High. "I call him a kid, but he evolved and matured into a really fine young man. I'm going to miss him a lot."

So, too, will his brothers. And his still-weeping father.

And then there is his mother, Jodi, who tried desperately, before Jason's death, to convey her love in a poem titled My Son, My Hero, which read in part:

"Jason, when you were just a boy,

"All I wanted was to find that perfect toy.

"Now that you are a man,

"All I ever do is pray for you as hard as I can.

"... To me you are my cherished hero.

"My wonderful son, so powerful and lean

"Serving our country as a United States Marine.

"You are so courageous and strong,

"For all that you are doing for our country is far from wrong."

Funeral arrangements

Marine Lance Cpl. Jason E. Smith, 21, of Phoenix, the 43rd Arizona service member killed in the war on terror, will be coming home this week. His family announced the following plans for his memorial:

Visitation:

Wednesday, 5 to 8 p.m., Shadow Mountain Mortuary, 2350 E. Greenway Road, Phoenix.

Services:

Thursday, 11 a.m., North Hills Church of God, 15025 N. 19th Ave., Phoenix,

Donations:

In lieu of flowers, the Smith family suggests donations be made at any Bank of America branch to the Jason Smith Youth Sports Memorial Fund, Account No. 004659891394.

CAPTION: Jodi and Glenn Smith, parents of Marine Lance Cpl. Jason E. Smith, who was killed in Iraq on New Year's eve, take solice in his final letters from Iraq. He was 21 years old and looking forward to playing baseball at Glendale Community College.