The 33-year-old Tracy resident and Marine Corps gunnery sergeant is the first soldier from San Joaquin County to die in Operation Iraqi Freedom. Relatives were told Friday of his shooting death.

A small, silk-flower memorial with a photograph of Menusa encircles a tree in his parents' Tracy yard. A vase of red roses sits at the base of the tree.

Neighbors said they were shocked at the news. Ron Eusanio, whose family has lived next to Menusa's parents, Michael and Virginia Kenny, for 13 years, said he had talked about the war with Menusa a few months ago.

"He said that it would probably happen, but he thought he would stay here, because he was basically a (Marine) recruiter. It was a real shock to hear that he was in Iraq and had died," Eusanio said.

Eusanio and his wife, Dolores, were at a party the family hosted when Menusa returned from fighting in the Persian Gulf War in 1991. The party was on Menusa's 21st birthday.

"He was very clean-cut, very polite and very humble. Just everyone's idea of a Marine," Ron Eusanio said.

The neighbors have been in contact with Menusa's parents, who left this weekend for Santa Maria, home of Menusa's parents-in-law. Menusa's wife, Stacy, and 3-year-old son, Joshua, had been visiting in Santa Maria.

"We spoke to his parents today, and they're doing better. They were incredibly upset yesterday. It's just a terrible thing," Dolores Eusanio said.

Stacy Menusa said she last spoke with her husband by phone Feb. 27, 14 days after his birthday.

"He said he was doing all right, his morale was high. He missed us and couldn't wait to see us. He wasn't down. He kept telling me he was there to do his job."

She learned of his death at 10:30 a.m. Friday but was not told the specific circumstances. He had told her that, as second in command of his platoon, his job was to secure oil wells.

Joseph Menusa was assigned in January to the 1st Combat Engineering Battalion, based at Camp Pendleton, and left Feb. 5 for the Middle East.

Stacy Menusa said she last received a letter from her husband March 22, while he was in Kuwait.

She said she never thought he would be in danger until recently.

"It didn't really even hit me he was over there and it was hostile until the bombing of Baghdad started. Then I got scared: 'OK, this is real now,' " she said. "I never thought it would be my Marine."

The Menusas met at a Santa Maria party in 1992, shortly after Joseph Menusa had fought in the Persian Gulf War. His wife recalled one story he told about his time in that war: He awoke to a loud sound outside his bunker and grabbed his gun. The noise turned out to be a camel.

During his military career, he was stationed at Twentynine Palms in the Mojave Desert; Hawaii; Okinawa, Japan; and Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, before moving to Tracy.

For the past three years, he was a Marine recruiter in Livermore, Hayward and Fremont.

The 14-year veteran was born in the Philippines and moved with his mother to San Jose when he was 10. He graduated from Silver Creek High in 1989, then joined the Marines. He was stationed at Camp Pendleton, with responsibilities that included demolition and construction.

Stacy Menusa said that before he left for Iraq, her husband had told her not to worry, that he would come home.

"He died with honor and he loved the Corps. He loved his family, and if he had to do it over again, he wouldn't change a thing," Stacy Menusa said. "He'll be sorely missed. The Corps lost a good man."

Gunnery Sgt. Joseph Menusa, based in Camp Pendleton north of San Diego, was killed in action Thursday near Nasiriya, said Capt. Shawn Turner, a Marine Corps spokesman.

His grieving wife, Stacy Menusa, 30, said Marine officials told her Friday that he had been shot but that further details were not provided. Turner said Saturday that information is still being gathered about the death.

"I think I'm in a bad dream," his wife said from her parents' home in Santa Maria on Saturday. "I want someone to pinch me and tell me it's a nightmare, but I know it's not." He also leaves behind their 3-year-old son, Joshua.

"I have my moments, but I want to talk about him because I want to let people know how proud I am of him," she said. "He died honorably, and he wouldn't have it any other way."

A veteran of the 1991 Gulf War, her husband had assured her he would return safely, despite her lingering fears, she said.

"He told me it was all right -- 'I'll come back to you and Joshua,' " she said. "I never thought in my wildest dreams this would happen."

He was born in the Philippines and grew up in San Jose, where he graduated from Silver Creek High School in 1989. He was a member of the 1st Combat Engineer Battalion and had shipped out for Kuwait on Feb. 5.

Before then, he lived in Tracy and served three years as a Marine recruiter in Livermore, Hayward and Fremont.

Stacy Menusa said her husband was always upbeat and had an uncanny ability to lift the spirits of everyone around him.

"He had an aura about him," she said. "He always had a smile on his face. He would brighten a room when he went into it. He was just a strong man, and he was always happy. You would be down and depressed, and he knew how to make you happy."

Although he originally intended to enlist in the Air Force, he signed up with the Marine Corps after seeing a group of girls flock around a sharply dressed uniformed Marine recruiter, his wife recalled.

After serving in Okinawa, Japan, and the Persian Gulf, he was later stationed at Twentynine Palms, where he met and married his wife. He later was stationed in Cuba and then Hawaii before moving to Tracy.

His mother-in-law, Rosie Bernardo, recalled welcoming him into her family.

"He had a very calm spirit, and he exuded love," said Bernardo. "He was always kind and considerate and respectful from day one."

Stacy Menusa said she's told their son of his father's death. She told him he went to be with Jesus, hoping their trips to church would help provide a satisfactory explanation.

"Later, he did make a comment to his cousins," she said. "He said, 'My daddy died in the war.' I couldn't believe that. How did he know?"

She said the most action Joseph saw in the first Persian Gulf War was when he accidentally shot a camel who approached him at night. Friends kidded him about returning to the region to shoot more animals.

Despite the jokes, he was proud to ship out to Iraq, said Stacy.

"This was his job, and he was 100 percent gung-ho about going," she said. "He said he wanted to be a leader for the young Marines that were going with him."