Cpl. Tyler Fey, U.S.M.C (KIA)

A good man’: Family, friends mourn loss of EP serviceman killed in Iraq

Fresh emotions and intense grief continue to surround the Fey family, dealing with the loss of Cpl. Tyler Fey, killed in action in Iraq April 4.

The 22-year-old Eden Prairie man was buried Tuesday in Eden Prairie Cemetery, following a Mass of Christian Burial at Pax Christi Catholic Community.

The Rev. Doug Dandurand said when Tyler Fey was home on leave last June, his parents had a gathering for family members and friends. His parents, Rick and Cheryl, put up a big tent and invited Tyler's friends and relatives to the "banquet table."

This week's funeral brought friends

and family of the Marine corporal together again, continued Dandurand, this time around the communion table, to remember Christ's death and his resurrection, which offers hope for those mourning Tyler's death.

Hundreds of people, including Gov. Tim Pawlenty and many U.S. Marines, came to remember Tyler's life and mourn his death while serving in Iraq. Fey was one of three Minnesota Marines killed in one weekend. Since the start of the war in Iraq, seven Minnesotans have been killed.

Char Loving, the family's spokesperson, said that many of the Marines have spent time with the Fey family, trying to bring comfort and support to those who dearly loved one of their own.

After the funeral, she talked about impact the Marines made over the Easter weekend.

"They brought a bit of Tyler home for us," Loving said.

Just days after commemorating Jesus' death on the cross and resurrection, Dandurand said that those who love Tyler are likely experiencing many of the emotions felt by Jesus' friends: confusion, emptiness, fear, pain, and suffering.

Another one of those fresh emotions is anger.

Ryan Fey, Tyler's only sibling, prays that God will help him deal with his anger over the tragic loss of his younger brother.

"You did well and you made everyone so proud. You made our family so proud. You made your country so proud. But, I still get angry … I can only ask that God can help me overcome it," Ryan said at Tuesday's funeral.

Ryan shared his feelings of anger, against the Iraqi who fired the shot that killed his brother and against the politicians in Washington, D.C., for sending Tyler back to Iraq a second time. He even admitted to having a flash of anger at his brother for joining the Marines, which put him in harm's way.

"Why did you insist on being so darn good at what you do?" he asked of his brother.

He listed all the "could have been's" that aren't to be: Tyler's dream to open a restaurant, times sitting by the fire talking about the future, and one day, watching their kids play with each other.

Ryan talked about trying to make it through "a bad week in our lives" and attempting to move through this horrible situation, taking a lesson from his brother's life.

In his comments, Ryan also asked that his brother, up in heaven, not only look after the other Marines who have been killed, but that he would do one more thing for him on earth.

"Will you come and sit by the fire with me for a while? I'll know you'll be there by the tears of my eyes," he said. "Come sit by the fire a while."

Support has come the Fey family's way during this horrible time, Loving continued, not only from family, friends, neighbors and Marines, but also from "people we don't even know."

The past week has been extremely hard for Tyler's parents.

"According to them, this is the most difficult thing anyone would ever have to go through," Loving said.

Pawlenty, although sharing his time in private moments, has been there for the Fey family as well.

"He has had personal words with the family and has been extremely supportive of them in a private, intimate manner," Loving said.

Early years
Stories of Tyler as a young boy came from Ryan.

He painted a picture of the two boys down in the basement, building forts with blankets and chairs as their construction materials. Or, the two would go camping in the backyard.

As the brothers grew older, Ryan talked about nights sitting by the fire, out at their grandparents' home, thinking about and talking about their futures.

Tyler, who liked snowboarding and hunting, graduated from the Academy of Holy Angels in Richfield in 2000. The school's Web site notes his passing, asking those visiting the site to "keep Tyler and his family in their prayers."

Kate Hindes, a class representative from the Class of 2000, has been compiling a memory book in Tyler's honor.

She thanked everyone who has not only shared stories about Tyler but also kept him and his family in their thoughts and prayers.

"As we continue to grieve, we also continue to keep Tyler's brothers and sisters in Iraq, in our hearts for a safe return. How blessed we were to have him as a part of our memories," Hindes said. "Memories are forever."

His cousin also shared her thoughts about what kind of a boy and man Tyler was.

"He was an amazing kid. He had a love for life, a passion of life. He was very determined. He knew what he wanted to do," Loving said.

And, what Tyler wanted to do was join the Marines.

He did just that in September 2000.

Paige Velzeboer, wife of Dustin, shared words penned by her husband, a Marine still stationed in Iraq.

Dustin admitted to having trouble coming up with words that would do justice to his friend, when "my mind is a hailstorm."

Still, Dustin chose these words to describe Tyler: free-spirited, unique, joyful, adventurous, and one who would come to the aid of a friend.

Dustin related a past conversation with his father, about the future, what kind of career he would choose and "what I wanted to do when I grew up." After his response, his father told him that "the one thing that supersedes all things is to be a good man."

That sums it up.

"Tyler Fey was a good man in every aspect," he said.

"Tyler Fey was an inspiration, a leader, a good friend, and a good man."

Fey, on his second tour of duty, was scheduled to come back from Iraq in August, with plans to attend vocational school.

Joe Palmershiem, a 1998 AHA graduate, said that he still thinks of Tyler as the blond kid with a smirk on his face. Still, though, he knows that his classmate had since become a man, "every bit the Marine in his dress blues."

For him, personally, he shared how Tyler's death has had an impact in his thoughts for the memory book.

"Looking at the faces of our fallen soldiers on CNN.com today, I was struck by the realization that each picture represented a hole in someone's life; an empty space filled only with memories and photographs, writes Palmershiem.

"Goodbye, Ty. We'll miss you."

Memorials are preferred and will be given to charitable organizations at the family's discretion, in memory of Fey.