Tomorrow Corps Stories will have been
live five years. I thought it was a good time to put in writing my feelings
and thoughts about it.
You have put this project in my heart,
and like all other wonderful things You�ve given me like a perfect child and
a home amongst my own, I can�t see my future without this work.
As I suppose is often Your plan for
things, this project is not and hasn�t ever been what I expected Your will
for me to be.
The main thing is, that no matter how
narrow-minded I am arriving to the table, You redirect me and comfort me in
my confusion. I don�t mean to be such, but afterward I see that is
exactly how I was looking at things.
Relationships. In this venture I have
learned a lot about friendships. While this project seemed odd and
unprecedented and scary to me, it is honorable and reasonable and worthwhile
to a few, those who have pushed me to dive into it disregarding my fears.
Those people are of course my board members, John, Ann and Joe and Alex.
Relationships built on such grounds were completely foreign to me. But these
people, especially Your servant John, have in their unique ways believed in
this and in me - when I didn�t believe in either. These and others who have
been Your guides for me in this, sometimes even temporarily, have halted my
heart and reset my understanding of love. Thank You.
Money. When I launched, I thought that
CS could make money like other sites; run ads, sell trinkets, etc. The ads
diminished the integrity of the project, so they had to go. The trinkets
just didn�t sell and bothered me as well. Then came months of applying for
grants. I became acquainted with some really great people who care about
such journalism and some who didn�t understand or care about our mission.
Again it wasn�t fruitful and took a tremendous amount of time, but I�m glad
I explored it. In the end CS is now largely self-funded from the real estate
investments that have always sustained me, which is still surprisingly
comfortable. The sympathetic benefactors which You've surfaced over the
years provide icing. Mainly I can see that the two can fund us over the
years without much stress on me. Thank You.
Five years ago I was full of fear and
physically and emotionally surrounded by emptiness. Today I don�t have the
things I thought would comfort me such as a marriage and a job with a famous
publication. But by Your plan, I�m happier. I head a great journalism
project. I have a lot of time for my wonderful son and my loved ones. I have
a lovely home and an extraordinary garden. I can�t wait to wake up in the
morning. I deeply love my life. You did all that.
So, I will continue to spread my arms
open and ask You to take it all over, my life, my efforts, my circumstances
and my plans. I love You so very, very much.